Prayer Request

All of the "Back to School" sales are making me very sad.

Back in the beginning of April when we submitted our dossier I excitedly looked at other people's blogs to see how long the process had taken for them so I could come up with a general timeline for us. I really, truly thought our first visit would be in late May or early June and we would be returning to pick A.J. up around September. I tentatively planned our summer around these dates, and gave some thought to how best to integrate A.J. into our school schedule once he was home.

Now it is "Back to School" time and we still haven't even gotten our written referral that will give us permission to make our first visit. Obviously trying to estimate time lines is not very helpful, but now we are hoping that we will be able to make our first trip sometime in September or early October. That means that he will not be coming home until about February 2013. :-(

When we started this process in December of 2010 I was very hopeful that he would be home for Christmas of 2011. When it became obvious that would not be possible, I began to pray that he might be able to be in our arms for his 4th birthday in April 2012. That didn't happen either.  So then I said to myself "He will definitely be home for Christmas 2012!". But that was not to be. I keep telling myself to give up the time lines, but my heart is pleading with God that he will be able to spend his 5th birthday with his Momma, Daddy and siblings. He has already missed out on so much!

Then I realized that some families adopting from this country have had the opportunity to hire a Baba ("Granny") to spend one on one time with their child as they wait to bring them home. This gives a child living in an institutional environment an invaluable jump on development and attachment. We have not had the opportunity to do this for A.J. My heart has been breaking over this. I have been crying out to God, asking "Why can't we do something for him while he waits? Why am I stuck here unable to do anything to make life better for this little boy that I already love SO much?"

I am really, really, REALLY struggling with the waiting. Please pray that God will give me peace with the uncertainty and that (somehow, someway) A.J. will get what he needs to be healthy and happy while he continues to wait.