Over the next week or so I started researching home study providers {for those of you who aren’t familiar with the adoption process, I’ll do a post soon on all of the steps we will be taking as we walk this path}, collecting documents, and filling out the myriad paperwork involved in adoption. I truly believe that several trees may have to sacrifice their lives in order for us to complete our adoption!
Then came my Air Force Reserve drill weekend. Eric had a horrendous weekend with the kids. Let’s face it, life in a house with an 8 year old, 5 year old and two 2 year olds has a LOT of challenges and we are used to it. But this weekend was so bad that Eric decided that it would be insane for us to even consider adopting in the next 12 months as had been our initial plan. Then the day I came home I had an equally horrendous day, and began to agree with my dear hubby. The best plan was probably to put off our adoption plans for a few years.
So the whole process was put on hold as we dealt with everyday life, Thanksgiving and the church event that I was planning. It was a bittersweet time as I thought about the relief I had from some of my anxieties about adding to our family, but at the same time was saddened that our dreams of adopting had been put on hold.
I spent the next couple of weeks almost completely focused on the Taste of Christmas dinner that I was planning for our church. For some reason this year help had been hard to come by, so I was spending more time setting up than usual. I didn’t accomplish everything that needed to be done on Thursday afternoon, so I went up to church on Friday morning to finish setting up, on the way I got a phone call that our emcee was ill and I was also nervous about having to learn to operate the sound system that day so that I could do the music and power point for the evening. When I arrived I found that our Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) group had needed to set up in the same area as I was working in because they needed power point for their speaker.
As you can imagine the stressed out, time crunched person in me almost had a nervous breakdown! (My apologies to anyone I offended that morning!) Thankfully my wonderful friend Sheri prayed for all of us and as soon as I mentioned the last minute crises that had come up several of the ladies stepped forward to help. All of my worries were addressed within minutes! God is good! (Can I get an Amen?)
I decided to do some of the prep work that I needed to do in the kitchen and other areas while they finished the MOPS meeting. As I was walking through the foyer I saw Lorraine Patterson - she “just happened” to be the speaker at MOPS that morning. We chatted for a few minutes and I went on with my setup. But as she prepared to speak I knew that I HAD to take the time to sit down with the group and listen. I was so glad that I listened to God speaking to me and went in!
Lorraine shared her testimony about her family’s adoption journey and so much of what she shared spoke to my heart.
• She shared that there were several places in the adoptions of their children when she did not really want to proceed with the adoption. This was an amazing revelation to me because Lorraine and her family are so strong in their faith and their dedication to orphans that I had assumed that she was always ready to accept the next child with a smile on her face. It was such a relief to realize that I was normal! I had often had doubts and concerns about adopting and I somehow felt as if that was not normal. My hesitation didn’t mean that I was not supposed to pursue adoption.
• She shared many places in the Word where God talks about adoption and caring for the orphan. God used these scriptures to convict me that some of my concerns about adopting were very selfish.
• She shared that there are times when she feels tired and overwhelmed and that she is able to find her strength and energy in her quiet time with God. I realized immediately that many of my recent struggles had been the result of my lack of time with the Lord. I remembered many times telling God “I just can’t do it all” and I realized that He was saying “I know you can’t, but I can. You just need to let me help!”
I left the church that morning simply amazed at God’s plan. If I had had enough help with Taste of Christmas I would not have been at church on Friday morning at all. God worked it out so that I would be there on the exact day that Lorraine would be speaking and that the MOPS group would be in the way of my set-up plans, and He used that to rededicate us to our adoption journey.
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