I have never made New Year's resolutions in the past, but this year I decided that turning the calendar to 2011 would be a good opportunity to make some changes. Number one on my list was to become more purposeful in my bible study, so I was very excited to visit Lorraine's blog and read about the Boss Your Heart Bible Reading Challenge. If you aren't familiar with Chrissie's story read about what "Boss Your Heart" means on the blog and find out what the challenge is all about.
I still haven't decided which reading plan to use yet, but I have the app downloaded on my phone and I am ready to start first thing tomorrow morning! Anyone want to join me??
Friday, December 31, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
One Step Forward
We found out Christmas Eve that our home study background checks were complete and our initial home study review has been approved! That was a wonderful Christmas gift for us after several weeks of waiting. Once we are back in Texas we will start the interviews and the remainder of the home study process.
I hope you all had a blessed CHRISTmas!
I hope you all had a blessed CHRISTmas!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
More Piles of Paper
The second step in the adoption process is completing the USCIS (United States Customs and Immigration Service) Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition. This form sets the immigration process for a child in motion prior to formally knowing which child(ren) you will be adopting. It allows the time required to process the visa and other paperwork to be decreased when the adoption is finalized.
The USCIS I-600A consists of a paper application, federal fingerprinting, and a finalized copy of your home study. The application will be processed by USCIS and then an appointment will be set up for the parents to be fingerprinted. All of this needs to be completed before you can start compiling the dossier (doss-E-ay) that must be submitted to the country where the adoption will be completed.
It is beginning to feel like completing adoption paperwork is my part time job!
The USCIS I-600A consists of a paper application, federal fingerprinting, and a finalized copy of your home study. The application will be processed by USCIS and then an appointment will be set up for the parents to be fingerprinted. All of this needs to be completed before you can start compiling the dossier (doss-E-ay) that must be submitted to the country where the adoption will be completed.
It is beginning to feel like completing adoption paperwork is my part time job!
Friday, December 17, 2010
Piles and Piles of Paper!
The first major step in any adoption is the completion of a “home study” to determine if a family is ready and able to accept adoptive children. The home study is completed by a social worker and involves multiple interviews with all family members (both individually and as a group), background checks, completion of a personal biography for both parents, and a home visit.
Personally this is the one part of the process that I am most concerned with, even though I have been told that it is a lot less painful than it sounds. What if the social worker decides we wouldn’t be good parents? What does that mean for our poor bio kids? LOL :-) Seriously though, it is a bit stressful to have someone evaluating your family in this way.
We are currently in the process of doing the required background checks and hopefully we will move forward with the whole process soon after the holidays. Pray that we would have peace throughout the process, and will not be anxious about anything.
Personally this is the one part of the process that I am most concerned with, even though I have been told that it is a lot less painful than it sounds. What if the social worker decides we wouldn’t be good parents? What does that mean for our poor bio kids? LOL :-) Seriously though, it is a bit stressful to have someone evaluating your family in this way.
We are currently in the process of doing the required background checks and hopefully we will move forward with the whole process soon after the holidays. Pray that we would have peace throughout the process, and will not be anxious about anything.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
We need your junk!
We are planning to have a garage sale in the spring to help us raise the funds we will need to complete our adoption. If you are cleaning out closets in preparation for Christmas, would you consider setting those things aside for us to inlcude in our sale tather than taking them to Good Will? I will gladly come pick them up, just e-mail or call! Many thanks!!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Part 4...
One of my main concerns as we had been looking at adopting a special needs child had been my ability to continue to homeschool and deal with the very real needs of a medically fragile child. I so much do NOT want to give up home schooling. I love being able to spend time with my children, teach them and learn with them. I don’t want to give that up, but at the same time I knew that realistically I would not be able to do everything well and that I was going to have to give something up.
The day after Lorraine’s presentation I found a post on the Empowered to Connect website titled “He Gives and Takes Away”. This mother described her reaction to going through the exact same struggle that I was going through in giving up home schooling! Again, God used “circumstances” to address my needs and concerns. Yes, our decision to send the kids to school was the right one. And while it was going to be hard, He is faithful.
That same day I completed the financial aid application for Regents School of Austin. We have not heard from them yet, but we pray that God will confirm our plan to send the kids to school there in the fall of 2011 by allowing us to receive enough financial aid to make it possible. And if He doesn't, then we will seek His will for "Plan B"!
The day after Lorraine’s presentation I found a post on the Empowered to Connect website titled “He Gives and Takes Away”. This mother described her reaction to going through the exact same struggle that I was going through in giving up home schooling! Again, God used “circumstances” to address my needs and concerns. Yes, our decision to send the kids to school was the right one. And while it was going to be hard, He is faithful.
That same day I completed the financial aid application for Regents School of Austin. We have not heard from them yet, but we pray that God will confirm our plan to send the kids to school there in the fall of 2011 by allowing us to receive enough financial aid to make it possible. And if He doesn't, then we will seek His will for "Plan B"!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Our Adoption Adventure - Part 3
Over the next week or so I started researching home study providers {for those of you who aren’t familiar with the adoption process, I’ll do a post soon on all of the steps we will be taking as we walk this path}, collecting documents, and filling out the myriad paperwork involved in adoption. I truly believe that several trees may have to sacrifice their lives in order for us to complete our adoption!
Then came my Air Force Reserve drill weekend. Eric had a horrendous weekend with the kids. Let’s face it, life in a house with an 8 year old, 5 year old and two 2 year olds has a LOT of challenges and we are used to it. But this weekend was so bad that Eric decided that it would be insane for us to even consider adopting in the next 12 months as had been our initial plan. Then the day I came home I had an equally horrendous day, and began to agree with my dear hubby. The best plan was probably to put off our adoption plans for a few years.
So the whole process was put on hold as we dealt with everyday life, Thanksgiving and the church event that I was planning. It was a bittersweet time as I thought about the relief I had from some of my anxieties about adding to our family, but at the same time was saddened that our dreams of adopting had been put on hold.
I spent the next couple of weeks almost completely focused on the Taste of Christmas dinner that I was planning for our church. For some reason this year help had been hard to come by, so I was spending more time setting up than usual. I didn’t accomplish everything that needed to be done on Thursday afternoon, so I went up to church on Friday morning to finish setting up, on the way I got a phone call that our emcee was ill and I was also nervous about having to learn to operate the sound system that day so that I could do the music and power point for the evening. When I arrived I found that our Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) group had needed to set up in the same area as I was working in because they needed power point for their speaker.
As you can imagine the stressed out, time crunched person in me almost had a nervous breakdown! (My apologies to anyone I offended that morning!) Thankfully my wonderful friend Sheri prayed for all of us and as soon as I mentioned the last minute crises that had come up several of the ladies stepped forward to help. All of my worries were addressed within minutes! God is good! (Can I get an Amen?)
I decided to do some of the prep work that I needed to do in the kitchen and other areas while they finished the MOPS meeting. As I was walking through the foyer I saw Lorraine Patterson - she “just happened” to be the speaker at MOPS that morning. We chatted for a few minutes and I went on with my setup. But as she prepared to speak I knew that I HAD to take the time to sit down with the group and listen. I was so glad that I listened to God speaking to me and went in!
Lorraine shared her testimony about her family’s adoption journey and so much of what she shared spoke to my heart.
• She shared that there were several places in the adoptions of their children when she did not really want to proceed with the adoption. This was an amazing revelation to me because Lorraine and her family are so strong in their faith and their dedication to orphans that I had assumed that she was always ready to accept the next child with a smile on her face. It was such a relief to realize that I was normal! I had often had doubts and concerns about adopting and I somehow felt as if that was not normal. My hesitation didn’t mean that I was not supposed to pursue adoption.
• She shared many places in the Word where God talks about adoption and caring for the orphan. God used these scriptures to convict me that some of my concerns about adopting were very selfish.
• She shared that there are times when she feels tired and overwhelmed and that she is able to find her strength and energy in her quiet time with God. I realized immediately that many of my recent struggles had been the result of my lack of time with the Lord. I remembered many times telling God “I just can’t do it all” and I realized that He was saying “I know you can’t, but I can. You just need to let me help!”
I left the church that morning simply amazed at God’s plan. If I had had enough help with Taste of Christmas I would not have been at church on Friday morning at all. God worked it out so that I would be there on the exact day that Lorraine would be speaking and that the MOPS group would be in the way of my set-up plans, and He used that to rededicate us to our adoption journey.
Then came my Air Force Reserve drill weekend. Eric had a horrendous weekend with the kids. Let’s face it, life in a house with an 8 year old, 5 year old and two 2 year olds has a LOT of challenges and we are used to it. But this weekend was so bad that Eric decided that it would be insane for us to even consider adopting in the next 12 months as had been our initial plan. Then the day I came home I had an equally horrendous day, and began to agree with my dear hubby. The best plan was probably to put off our adoption plans for a few years.
So the whole process was put on hold as we dealt with everyday life, Thanksgiving and the church event that I was planning. It was a bittersweet time as I thought about the relief I had from some of my anxieties about adding to our family, but at the same time was saddened that our dreams of adopting had been put on hold.
I spent the next couple of weeks almost completely focused on the Taste of Christmas dinner that I was planning for our church. For some reason this year help had been hard to come by, so I was spending more time setting up than usual. I didn’t accomplish everything that needed to be done on Thursday afternoon, so I went up to church on Friday morning to finish setting up, on the way I got a phone call that our emcee was ill and I was also nervous about having to learn to operate the sound system that day so that I could do the music and power point for the evening. When I arrived I found that our Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) group had needed to set up in the same area as I was working in because they needed power point for their speaker.
As you can imagine the stressed out, time crunched person in me almost had a nervous breakdown! (My apologies to anyone I offended that morning!) Thankfully my wonderful friend Sheri prayed for all of us and as soon as I mentioned the last minute crises that had come up several of the ladies stepped forward to help. All of my worries were addressed within minutes! God is good! (Can I get an Amen?)
I decided to do some of the prep work that I needed to do in the kitchen and other areas while they finished the MOPS meeting. As I was walking through the foyer I saw Lorraine Patterson - she “just happened” to be the speaker at MOPS that morning. We chatted for a few minutes and I went on with my setup. But as she prepared to speak I knew that I HAD to take the time to sit down with the group and listen. I was so glad that I listened to God speaking to me and went in!
Lorraine shared her testimony about her family’s adoption journey and so much of what she shared spoke to my heart.
• She shared that there were several places in the adoptions of their children when she did not really want to proceed with the adoption. This was an amazing revelation to me because Lorraine and her family are so strong in their faith and their dedication to orphans that I had assumed that she was always ready to accept the next child with a smile on her face. It was such a relief to realize that I was normal! I had often had doubts and concerns about adopting and I somehow felt as if that was not normal. My hesitation didn’t mean that I was not supposed to pursue adoption.
• She shared many places in the Word where God talks about adoption and caring for the orphan. God used these scriptures to convict me that some of my concerns about adopting were very selfish.
• She shared that there are times when she feels tired and overwhelmed and that she is able to find her strength and energy in her quiet time with God. I realized immediately that many of my recent struggles had been the result of my lack of time with the Lord. I remembered many times telling God “I just can’t do it all” and I realized that He was saying “I know you can’t, but I can. You just need to let me help!”
I left the church that morning simply amazed at God’s plan. If I had had enough help with Taste of Christmas I would not have been at church on Friday morning at all. God worked it out so that I would be there on the exact day that Lorraine would be speaking and that the MOPS group would be in the way of my set-up plans, and He used that to rededicate us to our adoption journey.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Our Adoption Adventure - Part 2
Over the next few days we talked about it and prayed about it. Finally one afternoon Eric said “Let’s go for it!” and the next step in the journey was taken.
I contacted the agency “listing” Landon {Children with special needs who are currently living in an orphanage or group home setting are often listed as “waiting children” with a particular adoption agency that will attempt to find them homes through their various resources}, and discovered that he had a family that had already committed to adopt him! Talk about a crazy mix of emotions! I was thrilled that he had a “forever family”, but at the same time I was very sad. He was supposed to be in our family, right?
I e-mailed our friend Lorraine (who has lots of experience with adoption) and this was her reply:
“I will say that I’ve seen many times where God uses a particular child to really tug at someone’s heartstrings, to the point where the family dives in to adopt that special child, only to find out he/she has already been committed to. In these circumstances, God always leads the family to another child who He had intended to be theirs all along, only the parents didn’t know about the other child until they went searching after the original child stole their heart. Does that make sense?”
That completely made sense to me and I was able to be totally joyful that Landon had found his forever family. Now we were committed to the adoption journey, but we still didn’t know who or where or when!
I contacted the agency “listing” Landon {Children with special needs who are currently living in an orphanage or group home setting are often listed as “waiting children” with a particular adoption agency that will attempt to find them homes through their various resources}, and discovered that he had a family that had already committed to adopt him! Talk about a crazy mix of emotions! I was thrilled that he had a “forever family”, but at the same time I was very sad. He was supposed to be in our family, right?
I e-mailed our friend Lorraine (who has lots of experience with adoption) and this was her reply:
“I will say that I’ve seen many times where God uses a particular child to really tug at someone’s heartstrings, to the point where the family dives in to adopt that special child, only to find out he/she has already been committed to. In these circumstances, God always leads the family to another child who He had intended to be theirs all along, only the parents didn’t know about the other child until they went searching after the original child stole their heart. Does that make sense?”
That completely made sense to me and I was able to be totally joyful that Landon had found his forever family. Now we were committed to the adoption journey, but we still didn’t know who or where or when!
Sunday, December 5, 2010
What is Adoption?
Adoption is "the giving to any one the name and place and privileges of a son who is not a son by birth."
(1.) Natural. Pharaoh's daughter adopted Moses (Exd 2:10), and Mordecai Esther (Est 2:7).
(2.) National. God adopted Israel (Exd 4:22; Deu 7:6; Hsa 11:1; Rom 9:4).
(3.) Spiritual. An act of God's grace by which he brings men into the number of his redeemed family, and makes them partakers of all the blessings he has provided for them. Adoption represents the new relations into which the believer is introduced by justification, and the privileges connected therewith, viz., an interest in God's peculiar love (Jhn 17:23; Rom 5:5-8), a spiritual nature (2Pe 1:4; Jhn 1:13), the possession of a spirit becoming children of God (1Pe 1:14; 2Jo 4; Rom 8:15-21; Gal 5:1; Hbr 2:15), present protection, consolation, supplies (Luk 12:27-32; Jhn 14:18; 1Cr 3:21-23; 2Cr 1:4), fatherly chastisements (Hbr 12:5-11), and a future glorious inheritance (Rom 8:17,23; Jam 2:5; Phl 3:21).
(1.) Natural. Pharaoh's daughter adopted Moses (Exd 2:10), and Mordecai Esther (Est 2:7).
(2.) National. God adopted Israel (Exd 4:22; Deu 7:6; Hsa 11:1; Rom 9:4).
(3.) Spiritual. An act of God's grace by which he brings men into the number of his redeemed family, and makes them partakers of all the blessings he has provided for them. Adoption represents the new relations into which the believer is introduced by justification, and the privileges connected therewith, viz., an interest in God's peculiar love (Jhn 17:23; Rom 5:5-8), a spiritual nature (2Pe 1:4; Jhn 1:13), the possession of a spirit becoming children of God (1Pe 1:14; 2Jo 4; Rom 8:15-21; Gal 5:1; Hbr 2:15), present protection, consolation, supplies (Luk 12:27-32; Jhn 14:18; 1Cr 3:21-23; 2Cr 1:4), fatherly chastisements (Hbr 12:5-11), and a future glorious inheritance (Rom 8:17,23; Jam 2:5; Phl 3:21).
Saturday, December 4, 2010
The e-mail that started it all
This is an e-mail that I sent to Eric about a month ago. Sometimes it seems easier to articulate your feelings in writing than in person and that is why I chose to e-mail him. I thought this e-mail explained what has been happening in our world well, and that it would be a good place to start explaining the journey we are currently on. A lot has happened since then - keep checking for blog updates to get "the rest of the story".
"Dearest Eric,
We have talked a few times in the last year about the possibility of bringing another child into our home through adoption. Let me tell you a little bit about what has been going through my mind and what has happened recently.
At first I was set on an international adoption, but I began to doubt that plan because of the financial commitment. So I started to look into adopting through the foster system and discovered that we would probably not be approved because of the homeschooling and the fact that they require children to have their own room. At that point I was very upset and confused, because I had felt that God was calling us to adopt, but He had closed that door. I didn’t see how international adoption would be possible so I started looking at other ways to be involved in caring for orphans and found some information about starting an orphan’s ministry at your church that will offer financial assistance to families who are adopting. I decided that this might be what God had planned for us, but each time I thought about it I began to realize that I was mostly interested in this because it might eventually be a financing option for us to adopt ourselves. I finally just put it out of my mind and went about the next month or so.
Yesterday, I had to help with the preschool cleanup at CC. I was a little early getting over there so I started looking at the literature that CLC leaves out and was drawn toward an article about adoption. As I read more of it I realized that it was an article about how to raise the funds for adoption. I put it in my bag thinking that it might be interesting to read later or be helpful to someone else. Then last night at bible study we were talking about going into the “promised land” (the place God has prepared for us where we will receive all he has for us in a way that we just can’t even imagine) and how we sometimes get stuck wandering in the wilderness for 38 years just outside Canaan like the Israelites did because they were too afraid to go into the land of milk and honey. They thought the cost of obeying God and going into Canaan would be too high. At that point in the video I had an overwhelming feeling that God was talking to me. I really can’t explain it except to say that I felt very strongly that he was challenging me to obey, even if the costs might be great.
Then today I prayed some more about the possibility of us adopting and I asked that God would just show me what he had planned and if He had chosen a specific child for us that he would reveal that plan to me. I spent a little time looking at adoption sites and felt peaceful about the adoption process that seemed overwhelming to me a few months ago. I checked my e-mail and did a few other things and then I decided to check Lorraine Patterson’s blog (http://allarepreciousinhissight.blogspot.com/) that I hadn’t been to in several months. As I read through the last few posts I came to one that made my heart stop (see November 3rd post). I know that you will think that I have entirely lost my mind, but I cannot get the thought that this little guy is supposed to be part of our family out of my mind. Stay with me now!
I have had the very strange sensation many times over the last months as I am getting the kids ready and heading out the door, or leaving the playground or whatever the case may be that one is missing. I find myself counting 4 and having to mentally say “yep, 4 that’s the right number” because it seems so real to me that there should be another one. I know that sounds insane, but maybe it is one way God has been speaking to me?
And I can’t overlook the timing that He put together about me serving in the preschool area, getting there early, just happening to find that article on adoption that addressed the very concern that I had been having, and then putting that conviction into my heart during bible study last night. And then when I “just happened” to decide to check Lorraine’s blog today and saw that post it just all seemed too strange to be believed. I have been praying lately that God would show me his path through circumstances and it looks like that is exactly what He is doing! (Be careful what you ask for, huh?)
Over this evening I have been struggling with the potential of caring for a child with significant medical concerns. I just don’t think that I could realistically add that to my current to do list. But then something else sort of fell into place in my mind. Do you think that it is possible that God is orchestrating things for us to be able to send our kids to a good classical, private school in order to make it possible for us to open our hearts and home to more kids? I never would have considered the possibility of a classical school if it hadn’t been for our experiences with CC, I never would have been in CC if it hadn’t been for Robin, and we never would have been in the position to consider any of it without the decision to homeschool. And perhaps God allowed my recent struggles to push me to look into other educational options for our kids and led us to Regents and the other options that way? I love homeschooling and the ability it gives me to spend lots of time with our kids. It would be very hard for me to give up that part of it. But from an educational perspective and the perspective that we know they would be in a place where our worldview and beliefs would be a foundation in their education I know that Regents or another similar school would be perfect. This would be another huge leap of faith in the whole process, but I have a feeling that it is all groundwork that He has laid.
I love you very much and I am already blessed to be the mom of 4. If God has planned for that number to be more I am confident that He will make it happen!
With all my love,
Kelsey"
"Dearest Eric,
We have talked a few times in the last year about the possibility of bringing another child into our home through adoption. Let me tell you a little bit about what has been going through my mind and what has happened recently.
At first I was set on an international adoption, but I began to doubt that plan because of the financial commitment. So I started to look into adopting through the foster system and discovered that we would probably not be approved because of the homeschooling and the fact that they require children to have their own room. At that point I was very upset and confused, because I had felt that God was calling us to adopt, but He had closed that door. I didn’t see how international adoption would be possible so I started looking at other ways to be involved in caring for orphans and found some information about starting an orphan’s ministry at your church that will offer financial assistance to families who are adopting. I decided that this might be what God had planned for us, but each time I thought about it I began to realize that I was mostly interested in this because it might eventually be a financing option for us to adopt ourselves. I finally just put it out of my mind and went about the next month or so.
Yesterday, I had to help with the preschool cleanup at CC. I was a little early getting over there so I started looking at the literature that CLC leaves out and was drawn toward an article about adoption. As I read more of it I realized that it was an article about how to raise the funds for adoption. I put it in my bag thinking that it might be interesting to read later or be helpful to someone else. Then last night at bible study we were talking about going into the “promised land” (the place God has prepared for us where we will receive all he has for us in a way that we just can’t even imagine) and how we sometimes get stuck wandering in the wilderness for 38 years just outside Canaan like the Israelites did because they were too afraid to go into the land of milk and honey. They thought the cost of obeying God and going into Canaan would be too high. At that point in the video I had an overwhelming feeling that God was talking to me. I really can’t explain it except to say that I felt very strongly that he was challenging me to obey, even if the costs might be great.
Then today I prayed some more about the possibility of us adopting and I asked that God would just show me what he had planned and if He had chosen a specific child for us that he would reveal that plan to me. I spent a little time looking at adoption sites and felt peaceful about the adoption process that seemed overwhelming to me a few months ago. I checked my e-mail and did a few other things and then I decided to check Lorraine Patterson’s blog (http://allarepreciousinhissight.blogspot.com/) that I hadn’t been to in several months. As I read through the last few posts I came to one that made my heart stop (see November 3rd post). I know that you will think that I have entirely lost my mind, but I cannot get the thought that this little guy is supposed to be part of our family out of my mind. Stay with me now!
I have had the very strange sensation many times over the last months as I am getting the kids ready and heading out the door, or leaving the playground or whatever the case may be that one is missing. I find myself counting 4 and having to mentally say “yep, 4 that’s the right number” because it seems so real to me that there should be another one. I know that sounds insane, but maybe it is one way God has been speaking to me?
And I can’t overlook the timing that He put together about me serving in the preschool area, getting there early, just happening to find that article on adoption that addressed the very concern that I had been having, and then putting that conviction into my heart during bible study last night. And then when I “just happened” to decide to check Lorraine’s blog today and saw that post it just all seemed too strange to be believed. I have been praying lately that God would show me his path through circumstances and it looks like that is exactly what He is doing! (Be careful what you ask for, huh?)
Over this evening I have been struggling with the potential of caring for a child with significant medical concerns. I just don’t think that I could realistically add that to my current to do list. But then something else sort of fell into place in my mind. Do you think that it is possible that God is orchestrating things for us to be able to send our kids to a good classical, private school in order to make it possible for us to open our hearts and home to more kids? I never would have considered the possibility of a classical school if it hadn’t been for our experiences with CC, I never would have been in CC if it hadn’t been for Robin, and we never would have been in the position to consider any of it without the decision to homeschool. And perhaps God allowed my recent struggles to push me to look into other educational options for our kids and led us to Regents and the other options that way? I love homeschooling and the ability it gives me to spend lots of time with our kids. It would be very hard for me to give up that part of it. But from an educational perspective and the perspective that we know they would be in a place where our worldview and beliefs would be a foundation in their education I know that Regents or another similar school would be perfect. This would be another huge leap of faith in the whole process, but I have a feeling that it is all groundwork that He has laid.
I love you very much and I am already blessed to be the mom of 4. If God has planned for that number to be more I am confident that He will make it happen!
With all my love,
Kelsey"
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