Somone commented to me just after our adoption was approved by the courts "At least you know there won't be any more delays after this!" I wanted to agree. I really did. But my heart and mind knew differently.
Yes, yet again we have hit a snag. Our official court decree that should have been ready on March 8th is still not ready. That means that we cannot get his new birth certificate which means we cannot get our travel dates. I am frustrated, sad, and stressed. But I am not surprised. After all of the problems we have had, I expected something else to go wrong.
If you have watched the trailer for the Stuck documentary you saw the series of pictures where the little boy grew up as his family waited and waited to bring him home. That is exactly the situation that we are in. Asen was 2 when we committed to adopt him and he will turn 5 in about 6 weeks. Almost 3 years of waiting for his Momma and Daddy to come. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry.
It does not have to be this difficult people! Certainly there need to be safeguards in place to prevent traficking of children and ensure as much as is humanly possible that the children are going to safe homes. But the number of hoops that have to be jumped through and the cost of jumping through them borders on insanity.
Prayer Requests:
Please pray that our adoption decree will be ready first thing on Monday morning!
Pray about seeing the STUCK documnetary. I guarantee that you will learn something new, and I am fairly certain that your heart will break. There are things that we can do to advocate for children to be able to come home to their forever families more quickly!
Friday, March 8, 2013
Stuck - The Documentary
If you are in the Austin, Texas area and would like to see this movie with us please let me know. It will be showing at the Barton Creek theaters Friday, March 15 at 7PM. Tickets are $16. Our church will also be offering child care for a small fee if you are interetsed in going but (like us) have trouble finding a sitter.
I am not sure why I cannot get the trailer to display in a more reasonable size. Sorry!
STUCK is a new award-winning documentary film, produced by Both Ends Burning that uncovers the personal, real-life stories of children and parents navigating a rollercoaster of bureaucracy on their journeys through the international adoption system, each filled with hope, elation – and sometimes heartbreak.
STUCK steps into the complex human experience of adoption, exploring the challenges faced by birth parents, prospective adoptive parents – and children.
The film follows Tihun from Ethiopia, Nate from Vietnam, and Erickson and Therline from Haiti on their individual voyages from orphanages in their native countries to their homes with families in the United States. Filmmaker Thaddaeus Scheel tracks the chapters in the lives of these four children, and the three couples seeking to be their parents, revealing along the way the intense hope and disappointment they experience on the odyssey to unite as families. Some stories are heartwarming, showing incredible examples of kids who blossom after joining their families, while others offer insight into the emotional and physical impact institutional life can have on these kids.
Through the lens of personal, real-life stories the film asks how the global community can take care of these children, safeguarding them from the very real dangers of child trafficking and corruption while also answering their need to move from institutions into loving homes and a normal life.
STUCK is a testament to the power of human love and the inexplicable connection between parent and child – even when separated by thousands of miles and seemingly insurmountable obstacles. It is a love story of a different kind that celebrates the indefatigable human spirit, the loyalty and the devotion that bonds these parents and kids together as families.
“International adoption is a wonderful way to provide children without parents a loving, permanent family that they otherwise would not have. I am touched by this film’s compelling portrayal of contemporary, real-life international adoption stories, and I was deeply honored to be part of the film,” said Sen. Mary Landrieu. “I hope that it will help invigorate the debate in our country and around the world about the proper place of international adoption.”
Monday, February 25, 2013
Helping Those Left Behind
One of the hardest things about being in Asen's orphanage was seeing all of the other precious children and knowing that they would still be waiting for their forever families. We have been thinking about ways that we could help these 75 children who continue to wait. We contacted the orphanage director and she told us that their greatest needs were for "basic necessities" such as diapers, food and clothing; as well as an industrial dryer. Right now the orphanage is hanging all of the laundry outside to dry! Can you imaging doing laundry for 75 children from newborn to 4 years old without a dryer?!? I can't even imagine doing laundry for my family of 7 without a dryer!
We would love to be able to bless the children left behind with some of these necessities. Our main goal is to be able to fund the dryer (about $700) and then provide as many necessities as we can. Because the cost of things like diapers is so much lower there, the best way to do this is to take cash with us and then purchase the items in country to take to the orphanage. The donations will stretch much further this way. The funds for the dryer will be given directly to the orphanage director.
If you have been looking for a way to directly impact the lives of orphans this is your chance! We will be collecting money to take with us when we travel at the end of March. The first $700 will be used to purchase an industrial dryer for the orphanage and we will use any extra funds to purchase diapers, food, and clothing for them while we are there. We will post pictures so y'all can see exactly what we were able to purchase to benefit these beautiful children. If you would like your contribution to be tax deductible you can send a check to Hays Hills Baptist Church and put "Love the Least Ministry - Orphanage Donation" in the memo. Otherwise, you can send your donation to us via mail or PayPal and let us know what it is for.
If you have a connection and are able to obtain items such as toothbrushes, small toys, etc. at a low cost we would be glad to take these along with us as well! As soon as we know which airlines we will be flying I plan to contact them to see if we can get the baggage fees waived so that we can take some donations with us.
The poverty was obvious to me when I travelled to A.J.'s country over the summer, but I was shocked to learn that the average monthly income there is only about $500. As the poorest country in the EU they have really struggled with their economy over the past 10 years. These children really do need us!
We would love to be able to bless the children left behind with some of these necessities. Our main goal is to be able to fund the dryer (about $700) and then provide as many necessities as we can. Because the cost of things like diapers is so much lower there, the best way to do this is to take cash with us and then purchase the items in country to take to the orphanage. The donations will stretch much further this way. The funds for the dryer will be given directly to the orphanage director.
If you have been looking for a way to directly impact the lives of orphans this is your chance! We will be collecting money to take with us when we travel at the end of March. The first $700 will be used to purchase an industrial dryer for the orphanage and we will use any extra funds to purchase diapers, food, and clothing for them while we are there. We will post pictures so y'all can see exactly what we were able to purchase to benefit these beautiful children. If you would like your contribution to be tax deductible you can send a check to Hays Hills Baptist Church and put "Love the Least Ministry - Orphanage Donation" in the memo. Otherwise, you can send your donation to us via mail or PayPal and let us know what it is for.
If you have a connection and are able to obtain items such as toothbrushes, small toys, etc. at a low cost we would be glad to take these along with us as well! As soon as we know which airlines we will be flying I plan to contact them to see if we can get the baggage fees waived so that we can take some donations with us.
The poverty was obvious to me when I travelled to A.J.'s country over the summer, but I was shocked to learn that the average monthly income there is only about $500. As the poorest country in the EU they have really struggled with their economy over the past 10 years. These children really do need us!
Friday, February 22, 2013
Introducing...
Asen James Jakubauskas!!
Our court date was today and our adoption has been granted! So what comes next? We wait some more. :-) The adoption decree will be signed by the judge in seven days (February 29). Then our facilitator will pick up the decree and take it to get the new birth certificate issued. That will take a week as well (March 1). At that point Elena will take both documents to be translated and make arrangements for our pick up trip. We should be able to travel to pick him up sometime after March 15, providing that there are no more delays. But honestly, after all of the delays we have experienced another delay at this stage would not surprise me at all. But just knowing he will be home before his 5th birthday is so exciting!
Curious about his name? We chose to keep his Bulgarian given name (Asen) to give him a connection to his birth country and his life before he became a part of our family. The staff at the orphanage is very fond of our little guy and they call him Sennie (Take the "A" off of Asen and add a long "e") and also Asencho (Asen plus "cho" like the beginning of "chosen"). Asencho is a diminutive form of his given name, sort of like when we call our Eve "Evie". Our family usually calls him Sennie when we talk about him, but we also call him Asen and A.J. His middle name is from James 1:27 - "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
Join us in praising God for this blessing!
We also ask that you join us in praying that we will have no more delays and Asen will be home as soon as possible.
If you are able, you can still donate toward our travel expenses and enter to win some amazing prizes at Forty to Forever.
Friday, February 8, 2013
To Scream or Not to Scream, That is the Question
Last week we got the wonderful news that our court date had been scheduled for February 8th. Obviously, we were very excited and started looking ahead to see when we would most likely travel and making plans for our kiddos who would be staying behind.
At about 3:30 am today I was suddenly wide awake and had an unshakable feeling that something was not right. With all of the delays and problems we have already had in this adoption process I was fearful that something had not gone well with our court hearing. About an hour ago I got confirmation of that. The judge that was assigned our case requested some additional documentation from our agency. Usually the judges will accept a scanned copy of the apostilled documents as long as the original is provided to the court before the adoption decree is picked up. Our judge refused to accept anything other than the original and will not hear our case until February 22nd.
Our wonderful stateside facilitator said "Your family has had every delay imaginable and then some." and that just sums it up perfectly. If there is an issue or problem that has ever been seen in an adoption process we have seen it. And we have seen a few that have never been seen before.
Please keep praying for our family and for A.J.
At about 3:30 am today I was suddenly wide awake and had an unshakable feeling that something was not right. With all of the delays and problems we have already had in this adoption process I was fearful that something had not gone well with our court hearing. About an hour ago I got confirmation of that. The judge that was assigned our case requested some additional documentation from our agency. Usually the judges will accept a scanned copy of the apostilled documents as long as the original is provided to the court before the adoption decree is picked up. Our judge refused to accept anything other than the original and will not hear our case until February 22nd.
Our wonderful stateside facilitator said "Your family has had every delay imaginable and then some." and that just sums it up perfectly. If there is an issue or problem that has ever been seen in an adoption process we have seen it. And we have seen a few that have never been seen before.
Please keep praying for our family and for A.J.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Forty Days to Forever + An Update
Wow! I just went to make some changes to the template on the blog and realized that I have not posted anything since October! We had a surgery and several illnesses in November and December and that coupled with the usual business of the Christmas season put me way behind. And to be honest, there has not been much news to report on the adoption front. We had our Article 5 appointment and everything was approved; then our dossier was signed by the MOJ and submitted to the court. Right now we are waiting on news about our court date. As soon as I hear something I will update here so you can all join us in praying that everything goes smoothly and the judge will not request any additional information. One more delay might send me over the edge! ;-)
I also wanted to let you know about a wonderful opportunity to support orphans. Our family has been invited to participate in this effort to raise $20,000 for 40 orphans over the 40 days of Lent. We have the opportunity to raise $400 to put toward our final travel expenses (which will be about $4,000). Every little bit helps! Our family will be featured on February 21.
We hope that you will support our family, as well as the other families and waiting children by visiting Forty Days to Forever to find out more. There will be 40 different prizes as well as a grand prize given away, so you may win something cool while caring for the least of these!
I also wanted to let you know about a wonderful opportunity to support orphans. Our family has been invited to participate in this effort to raise $20,000 for 40 orphans over the 40 days of Lent. We have the opportunity to raise $400 to put toward our final travel expenses (which will be about $4,000). Every little bit helps! Our family will be featured on February 21.
We hope that you will support our family, as well as the other families and waiting children by visiting Forty Days to Forever to find out more. There will be 40 different prizes as well as a grand prize given away, so you may win something cool while caring for the least of these!
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Little Ways to Help
Sometimes when I think about the number of orphans in the world and the scope of their needs I get completely overwhelmed. It seems as if the problem is so big that the small things that I am able to do could not possibly make a difference. But I have learned that small things being done by many people add up quickly! If each of us does one small thing to help an orphan, the end result will be BIG.
Here are a couple of small ways that you can help....
The orphanage that A.J. lives in now has many needs. After talking to the director, we discovered that one of their greatest needs is for a commercial dryer to allow them to keep up with the huge amounts of laundry created by 70+ children. This will cost approximately $700. Our hope is to be able to raise enough money to be able to purchase the dryer when we travel to pick up A.J. If you would like to help us meet this need, you can leave a comment here or contact me on Facebook or e-mail.
We are involved with the Love the Least Orphan Care Ministry at our church. This ministry currently supports several orphan care initiatives locally and internationally. We are involved with building homes for displaced children in Haiti to prevent them from becoming victims of trafficking, supporting the Village of Hope Uganda through sponsorships and mission trips, assisting the Central Texas Children's Home in several ways, and also helping adopting families afford the cost of adoption. Unfortunately, all of this takes money.
As part of our fundraising we are sponsoring a "Christmas Shopping Party" on Saturday, December 1st. You've all heard of Tupperware parties or Mary Kay parties right? We this is the same thing, only much bigger. We will have tons of vendors for you to chose from and part of each sale will benefit the ministry. And we will have refreshments too. You can get all of your Christmas shopping done in one stop, avoid the mall and Target, and get chocolate too!! Plan to join us! If you, or someone you know owns a home business and would be interested in participating in the event please let me know.
How do you reach 147 million orphans? One at a time!
Here are a couple of small ways that you can help....
The orphanage that A.J. lives in now has many needs. After talking to the director, we discovered that one of their greatest needs is for a commercial dryer to allow them to keep up with the huge amounts of laundry created by 70+ children. This will cost approximately $700. Our hope is to be able to raise enough money to be able to purchase the dryer when we travel to pick up A.J. If you would like to help us meet this need, you can leave a comment here or contact me on Facebook or e-mail.
We are involved with the Love the Least Orphan Care Ministry at our church. This ministry currently supports several orphan care initiatives locally and internationally. We are involved with building homes for displaced children in Haiti to prevent them from becoming victims of trafficking, supporting the Village of Hope Uganda through sponsorships and mission trips, assisting the Central Texas Children's Home in several ways, and also helping adopting families afford the cost of adoption. Unfortunately, all of this takes money.
As part of our fundraising we are sponsoring a "Christmas Shopping Party" on Saturday, December 1st. You've all heard of Tupperware parties or Mary Kay parties right? We this is the same thing, only much bigger. We will have tons of vendors for you to chose from and part of each sale will benefit the ministry. And we will have refreshments too. You can get all of your Christmas shopping done in one stop, avoid the mall and Target, and get chocolate too!! Plan to join us! If you, or someone you know owns a home business and would be interested in participating in the event please let me know.
How do you reach 147 million orphans? One at a time!
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Final Paperwork - Take 2
I should have known that nothing would go as planned with this final set of paperwork! Nothing has been easy so far, so why would it start now? ;-)
We sent in our I-800 to get the final approval for A.J.'s visa and within a week of it being received we got a phone call from our officer telling us that she needed the wording on our home study to be changed... again. I called our social worker that same day to ask her to make the needed changes and found out she was out of town. Of course! Every other piece of paperwork has been delayed, why not this one too? I was so incredibly frustrated that I wanted to cry. So it took us two weeks to get the home study updated and the new request for our USCIS paperwork is on its way. And the best part of all of that? It cost us $360 to file the supplemental paperwork to make the changes that were requested. Grrrr....
As we were waiting for the USCIS paperwork we were also working on getting our medical clearances updated by our physician. He is a very good doctor, but he and his office staff apparently flunked "Paperwork 101" because we had to go back to his office three separate times to get them to re-do the paperwork because they had filled it out incorrectly. Apparently I do not have anything else to do except drive to the doctor's office repeatedly. Grrr....
The good news is that our officer at USCIS is very kind and obviously wants to get us our approval as quickly as possible. She could have just waited for the written request to make its way to us in a week or so, but she took the time to call us, let us know what was needed, and give us specific information about making the updated home study meet the requirements. I really believe that she will be calling us as soon as she receives our updated paperwork to let us know that we have been approved and that our Article 5 letter is on its way to the embassy.
Praying that there will not need to be a Final Paperwork Take 3! :-)
Hang in there little man. Momma and Daddy will be there soon.
We sent in our I-800 to get the final approval for A.J.'s visa and within a week of it being received we got a phone call from our officer telling us that she needed the wording on our home study to be changed... again. I called our social worker that same day to ask her to make the needed changes and found out she was out of town. Of course! Every other piece of paperwork has been delayed, why not this one too? I was so incredibly frustrated that I wanted to cry. So it took us two weeks to get the home study updated and the new request for our USCIS paperwork is on its way. And the best part of all of that? It cost us $360 to file the supplemental paperwork to make the changes that were requested. Grrrr....
As we were waiting for the USCIS paperwork we were also working on getting our medical clearances updated by our physician. He is a very good doctor, but he and his office staff apparently flunked "Paperwork 101" because we had to go back to his office three separate times to get them to re-do the paperwork because they had filled it out incorrectly. Apparently I do not have anything else to do except drive to the doctor's office repeatedly. Grrr....
The good news is that our officer at USCIS is very kind and obviously wants to get us our approval as quickly as possible. She could have just waited for the written request to make its way to us in a week or so, but she took the time to call us, let us know what was needed, and give us specific information about making the updated home study meet the requirements. I really believe that she will be calling us as soon as she receives our updated paperwork to let us know that we have been approved and that our Article 5 letter is on its way to the embassy.
Praying that there will not need to be a Final Paperwork Take 3! :-)
Hang in there little man. Momma and Daddy will be there soon.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Birthday Benefit for Chrissie
Those of you who have been following our adoption story from the beginning might remember that Chrissie Patterson and her family were a big part of God's plan to lead us to adopting a special needs child.
Today would have been Chrissie's 7th birthday and her parents are hosting a virtual benefit in her memory. Village of Hope Guatemala will be opening in Spring of 2013 to give special needs orphans in Guatemala family, faith, and a future. Guatemala is currently closed to international adoption, and special needs orphans are almost never adopted within the country. Village of Hope Guatemala gives these children a chance at life in a family setting, education, medical treatment, the childhood they deserve, and a more secure future.
I know that many families (ours included) are on tight budgets. I have found myself thinking sometimes that the $5 or $10 that I have to give is so little that it won't make a difference. But I am realizing that when all of these small gifts are added together they become something BIG!
Check out Chrissie's benefit and be part of caring for children who are often overlooked. Your small gift will multiply!
Today would have been Chrissie's 7th birthday and her parents are hosting a virtual benefit in her memory. Village of Hope Guatemala will be opening in Spring of 2013 to give special needs orphans in Guatemala family, faith, and a future. Guatemala is currently closed to international adoption, and special needs orphans are almost never adopted within the country. Village of Hope Guatemala gives these children a chance at life in a family setting, education, medical treatment, the childhood they deserve, and a more secure future.
I know that many families (ours included) are on tight budgets. I have found myself thinking sometimes that the $5 or $10 that I have to give is so little that it won't make a difference. But I am realizing that when all of these small gifts are added together they become something BIG!
Check out Chrissie's benefit and be part of caring for children who are often overlooked. Your small gift will multiply!
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Life Goes On
Life in our house has continued on at its normal, crazy pace since I got home. School started, yard work needs to be done, dishes and laundry are never ending. Nothing has changed here, and I am SO thankful for the happy chaos that is our life. But I cannot get rid of the sadness in my heart. I knew that leaving A.J. behind was going to be hard, but I had no idea how much I was going to miss him! I look at his pictures every day. I think about him constantly. I just cannot wait to bring him home so I can tuck him in every night, make sure that he is getting enough to eat, take him to the doctors he needs to see, and love on him in a way he has never known. Just a few more months and you will have more love and hugs than you know what to do with little guy!
Our I800 has been submitted for approval from USCIS and we will be getting our medical exams and local police checks done (again!) next week. When we have the police checks and medicals done we will send them to our agency in country (along with our FBI background checks that were done last month) and our second stage documents will be complete. Then we just have to wait for USCIS to contact the Embassy in Sofia to let them know that our I800 is approved. They will issue the Article 5 letter which is the last piece of paperwork that we need to have complete before we get a court date. The court date will probably be 1-2 months after the Article 5 letter is issued. Then we have a short waiting period for the court decree and new birth certificate to be issued before we can make our second trip. We are still praying that we may be able to get him home before the end of 2012, but January or February of 2013 is probably more realistic. It seems like such a simple, straightforward paperwork process, but everything takes so much time!
I have a long list of things that I want to get done around the house before he comes home. Anyone want to come over to help me paint and reorganize? :-)
Our I800 has been submitted for approval from USCIS and we will be getting our medical exams and local police checks done (again!) next week. When we have the police checks and medicals done we will send them to our agency in country (along with our FBI background checks that were done last month) and our second stage documents will be complete. Then we just have to wait for USCIS to contact the Embassy in Sofia to let them know that our I800 is approved. They will issue the Article 5 letter which is the last piece of paperwork that we need to have complete before we get a court date. The court date will probably be 1-2 months after the Article 5 letter is issued. Then we have a short waiting period for the court decree and new birth certificate to be issued before we can make our second trip. We are still praying that we may be able to get him home before the end of 2012, but January or February of 2013 is probably more realistic. It seems like such a simple, straightforward paperwork process, but everything takes so much time!
I have a long list of things that I want to get done around the house before he comes home. Anyone want to come over to help me paint and reorganize? :-)
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Day 5 - The Hardest Day
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| Momma brought me "salty sticks" (what Americani call pretzels)! |
I didn't get to visit with A.J. very long on Friday morning, only about an hour and a half. It was not nearly long enough. He seemed much more subdued that during our other visits, but I don't know if that was because he was picking up on my mood or if he really understood when they told him that this would be the last time that I came to visit for a while. :-(
We got to play and snuggle a little and enjoy each other's company for one last time before I had to meet with the Director to give her our answer to the question "Do you want to adopt this child?" Our answer was 'Yes. We can't wait until he is part of our family, laughing and playing with his brothers and sisters."
I found out that he weights 12 kilograms (26 1/2 pounds) and is 33 inches tall. His size would be about 50th percentile for a 2 year old, and isn't even on the growth charts for a 4 year old. I guess his small size didn't completely hit me until I got home and realized how much bigger his sister (who is 6 months older than him) and his brother (who is 6 months younger than him) are. Eve is 11 inches taller than him and weighs 12 pounds more and Zac is 7 inches taller than him and weighs 10 pounds more. I almost fell over the first time I tried to pick Zac up after I got home! :-) I forgot how heavy he is. It made me so sad to think about our tiny little man...
I also found out a little more about his medical history. He weighed only 4 lbs 6 oz when he was born, his heritage is Romani (we suspected this, but his records confirmed it), he has no chromosomal abnormalities, they tested him for cystic fibrosis but could not get a result "because of technical problems with the laboratory", and he has been hospitalized for pneumonia or bronchiolitis a total of 12 times in 4 years. Because of his reversed organs and lung problems, we strongly suspect that he has Karatgener's Syndrome rather than CF but testing for this disorder is not available in Bulgaria and the physicians may not even be aware of a diagnosis as rare as Kartagener's. We are blessed to be just a few miles from an amazing children's hospital in Austin (Dell Children's Center) that "just happens" to have an International Adoption Clinic. Once A.J. is home he will have a 3-4 hour appointment at that clinic where they will do complete developmental testing, assess him for sensory processing / integration issues, a nutritional consultation, any immunizations that he needs, a thorough physical exam, any diagnostic tests such as lab work or x-rays that they feel he needs immediately, and give us referrals to any of the specialists that he needs to see. It could take us months to accomplish all of this if we had to schedule everything with individual offices! We are anticipating that we will get referrals (at the very least) to the CF clinic at Dell (because Kartagener's is treated in much the same way as CF), occupational and physical therapy, GI clinic, and the surgical clinic. I am anxious to get this done as soon as we can after he gets home because I really think he will thrive best after his physical needs are taken care of. But I am not looking forward to walking into a hospital with him for the first time. I know he will not be a happy camper, but I am hoping that having Momma there with him will ease his anxiety.
It just occurred to me that some of you might not know that the Romani people are commonly called "gypsy" or "gipsy". We choose not to use that term because in Europe is is very derogatory (similar to a white person using the "n word" to describe a person of African-American descent here). We have been doing a little research on this group of people so we will be ready to share his heritage with him when he is ready to understand, and I will share some of that with y'all in another post. I am also going to share a little more about the culture in Bulgaria, an opportunity to help A.J.'s orphanage, and a few other things.
I am sorry it took me so long to get this post up. After blogging twice a day all week, I know some of you thought something was wrong when I didn't blog for three days! School starts tomorrow for us, although I arrange our school weeks from Thursday to Thursday to correspond with our Classical Conversations campus teaching so we won't really get into things until Thursday. I will keep you all updated on how things are progressing with our final paperwork. The I800, local police checks, and medical exams are the only things we have left to do!
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Day 4, Part 2
This is what I was afraid his visa photograph would look like. :-)
This is what the photographer was finally able to capture. Not too bad...
We had a wonderful afternoon visit today. I was waiting in the entry area and when A.J. came around the corner and saw me he started running toward me! That moment is one that I will remember forever and was such a blessing to my heart. Then, he took my hand and started pulling me down the hallway toward the play room.
I have discovered that this kid LOVES the chicken dance. It is on the CD that they play for the kids every day, and one of the staff does the dance for them. He can do the first part, and would do it and then point at me to ask me to do the rest with him. Then he brought me a stuffed bear and wanted me to make the bear do the dance. We are going to have to get that song on iTunes and teach the rest of the kids that silly dance before he gets home.
He continues to amaze me with how fast he learns new things when he is given the opportunity. This afternoon he started saying 'brav' for 'bravo', and 'choka' (horse). And it took him about 30 seconds to learn the sign for more when he realized that it would get him more pretzels. :-) Food is going to be the way into this kiddo's heart! Surprisingly, he also picked up on the sign for 'finished' pretty quickly when we were done with snack.
I have noticed a few institutional behaviors, but nothing too severe. He does not react appropriately to being hurt. This afternoon he ran full speed into a table and it knocked him to the ground. He reacted by jumping up and laughing. With time, he will learn that there is someone who will comfort him and it is OK to feel the pain. He also has some self-comforting/stimulating behaviors such as thumb sucking and mild head banging in situations where another child would seek out comfort or interaction. And he is not very comfortable with close physical contact. He will let me hold him on my lap or carry him on my hip, but if I try to snuggle him or give him kisses he becomes upset. Interestingly, he will let me give him kisses if I am not holding him. It may be that the combination of being held and kissed at the same time is too much stimulation for him. This is all very common in children who have grown up in orphanages and will change as he has more time in a family. I am mentioning a lot of this here so that in a year or so I can go back and read these entries and see how far he has progressed!
I cannot believe that I will only get to play with him and love on him one more time before I have to leave. If you happen to be awake at around 3am tomorrow morning (11am here) please say a prayer for me to have strength as I say goodbye. Sigh...
Day 4
A.J. was not a happy camper when I arrived to visit him this morning. I really think that he was upset with me for leaving yesterday afternoon. He completely snubbed me for the first 20 minutes or so, and if I tried to engage him he would grab toys and try to throw them at me. Eventually he settled down and we had a fun visit. He is now saying 'vata', 'ne', and 'mama' and he was shaking his finger at me and grinning ear to ear. He is going to be something else! :-) He walked over to the window where we saw the cats yesterday and was looking quizzical and saying 'maw, maw?' We never did see the kitties though.
Toward the end of the morning visit we took him to get his pictures done for the visa. He did NOT want to leave the orphanage and threw a fit as we went out the gate. Dore (his favorite staff member) explained that the only time he has ever left the orphanage before was to go to the hospital and spend a week to ten days hooked up to IV antibiotics and steroids, so is it any wonder the kid didn't want to leave? Once he finally realized we were not headed for the hospital he started to relax. Taking him for all of the medical tests and exams he is going to need when we get home is going to be interesting. He is going to need testing for his PCD, evaluation of his foot, ENT for the 'goo' that is coming out of his left ear, and GI consult for reflux (he is constantly spitting up like you would expect an infant to do). It will be an adventure for sure. But I think getting all of his medical issues sorted out so he is feeling well is going to really help his overall development.
I was amazed at how calm he was in the car. Here they just buckle kids into the back seat with the regular seat belt and he rode along looking out the window and playing with a stuffed bear I brought him. He did not like having his picture taken, and I am afraid his visa will forever immortalize him with his mouth open in a scream and tears running down his face. :-( But once we left the photo place he walked along the shopping square happily checking out all of the sights. It is going to be a lot of fun to start to show him new things once we have had some time to settle in at home.
More to come later (if Momma is not too exhausted)! :-)
Toward the end of the morning visit we took him to get his pictures done for the visa. He did NOT want to leave the orphanage and threw a fit as we went out the gate. Dore (his favorite staff member) explained that the only time he has ever left the orphanage before was to go to the hospital and spend a week to ten days hooked up to IV antibiotics and steroids, so is it any wonder the kid didn't want to leave? Once he finally realized we were not headed for the hospital he started to relax. Taking him for all of the medical tests and exams he is going to need when we get home is going to be interesting. He is going to need testing for his PCD, evaluation of his foot, ENT for the 'goo' that is coming out of his left ear, and GI consult for reflux (he is constantly spitting up like you would expect an infant to do). It will be an adventure for sure. But I think getting all of his medical issues sorted out so he is feeling well is going to really help his overall development.
I was amazed at how calm he was in the car. Here they just buckle kids into the back seat with the regular seat belt and he rode along looking out the window and playing with a stuffed bear I brought him. He did not like having his picture taken, and I am afraid his visa will forever immortalize him with his mouth open in a scream and tears running down his face. :-( But once we left the photo place he walked along the shopping square happily checking out all of the sights. It is going to be a lot of fun to start to show him new things once we have had some time to settle in at home.
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| Momma is going to help me get this fixed when I get home. It hurts me when I walk! |
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Day 3, Part 2
Yesterday I asked this question in my emotion laden post - “Will he ever catch up developmentally? Or has the four years this orphanage has stolen from him changed his future forever?” When I was finally able to talk to my wonderful hubby last night he had a perfect answer to that question - "Honey, what will change his future forever is being part of a family! And that is what we are going to give him." See, I told you this guy was amazing!
I was able to visit with A.J. for about 2 hours this morning and an hour this afternoon. This morning they allowed me to visit him without my driver/interpreter or any of the orphanage staff in the room and it made a world of difference in his behavior and interaction. I think that with many people in the room he did not know who to go to and was not sure what the rules would be so he was exhibiting a lot of testing behavior (like throwing things, hitting himself, and banging toys on the windows). But when it was just the two of us I was able to set boundaries with him and he very quickly realized what he would and would not be allowed to do. By the end of the morning he was actually looking at me to check in and see if what he was planning to do was going to be acceptable or not. For example, he would raise a toy up to hit the window and then look over his sholder at me to see what I would do. All I had to do was say "Ne, ne" and shake my finger at him like the staff does and he would move on. That was very encouraging to me.
I was also amazed at how easily he learned new things without a lot of extra stimulation in the environment. In the few hours I was with him today he actually gained several new skills. On Monday he would bang blocks together or throw them but not stack them. Today after I sat him on my lap and showed him how to build a tower he did it repeatedly on his own and would bring the blocks to me to have me help him. He started to do some pretend play after I put the "bow bow" (dog) in the high chair and pretended to feed him, and he was reaching up to me to have me lift him.
Other highlights of the day:
- Even though he may be four, he cannot play with play doh. I had a feeling it would be a failure, but I was amazed by how quickly he got it into his mouth! I thought the texture might be interesting to him but as my kids would say "Epic FAIL".
- The afternoon visit was cut short by a giant diaper blowout that required a bath. Since it was close to dinner time anyhow we let his Baba take him to the bath and headed out. We gave the Baba a ride home and she told us that as they were walking down the hall he was looking for me and saying "Ciao?" Awwww...
- I gave the scrapbook we made to his Baba and she plans to show it to him everyday and tell him about his Mama and Dada. She saw the pictures of our cats and got very excited, telling us that his "groupa's" room has pictures of kittens and he LOVES them. He saw some pittiful kittens outside the window today and was saying "Maw maw", so I had a feeling he would like the cats. I am thrilled that his Baba is going to do this for him so he will have some idea of what is going to happen. She said that another child in his "groupa" was adopted, so he might have some idea of what becoming part of a family will mean. His Baba makes me laugh because she will chatter on at me in Bulgarian and I just nod my head and let her talk. I wonder if she realizes I can only understand about 10 words of Bulgarian? :-)
- There were two Bulgarian couples there this morning starting the process to adopt children. 3 less orphans in this orphanage!
Only three visits left before we have to head back to Sofia to finish up paperwork before I leave for home on Saturday. It will be so hard to leave him when we are just starting to build a relationship, but I hope that having his Baba share the scrapbook will help him to remember me until we can come back to bring him home. We will take him to get his visa pictures done tomorrow, so that will be an adventure!
I was able to visit with A.J. for about 2 hours this morning and an hour this afternoon. This morning they allowed me to visit him without my driver/interpreter or any of the orphanage staff in the room and it made a world of difference in his behavior and interaction. I think that with many people in the room he did not know who to go to and was not sure what the rules would be so he was exhibiting a lot of testing behavior (like throwing things, hitting himself, and banging toys on the windows). But when it was just the two of us I was able to set boundaries with him and he very quickly realized what he would and would not be allowed to do. By the end of the morning he was actually looking at me to check in and see if what he was planning to do was going to be acceptable or not. For example, he would raise a toy up to hit the window and then look over his sholder at me to see what I would do. All I had to do was say "Ne, ne" and shake my finger at him like the staff does and he would move on. That was very encouraging to me.
I was also amazed at how easily he learned new things without a lot of extra stimulation in the environment. In the few hours I was with him today he actually gained several new skills. On Monday he would bang blocks together or throw them but not stack them. Today after I sat him on my lap and showed him how to build a tower he did it repeatedly on his own and would bring the blocks to me to have me help him. He started to do some pretend play after I put the "bow bow" (dog) in the high chair and pretended to feed him, and he was reaching up to me to have me lift him.
Other highlights of the day:
- Even though he may be four, he cannot play with play doh. I had a feeling it would be a failure, but I was amazed by how quickly he got it into his mouth! I thought the texture might be interesting to him but as my kids would say "Epic FAIL".
- The afternoon visit was cut short by a giant diaper blowout that required a bath. Since it was close to dinner time anyhow we let his Baba take him to the bath and headed out. We gave the Baba a ride home and she told us that as they were walking down the hall he was looking for me and saying "Ciao?" Awwww...
- I gave the scrapbook we made to his Baba and she plans to show it to him everyday and tell him about his Mama and Dada. She saw the pictures of our cats and got very excited, telling us that his "groupa's" room has pictures of kittens and he LOVES them. He saw some pittiful kittens outside the window today and was saying "Maw maw", so I had a feeling he would like the cats. I am thrilled that his Baba is going to do this for him so he will have some idea of what is going to happen. She said that another child in his "groupa" was adopted, so he might have some idea of what becoming part of a family will mean. His Baba makes me laugh because she will chatter on at me in Bulgarian and I just nod my head and let her talk. I wonder if she realizes I can only understand about 10 words of Bulgarian? :-)
- There were two Bulgarian couples there this morning starting the process to adopt children. 3 less orphans in this orphanage!
Only three visits left before we have to head back to Sofia to finish up paperwork before I leave for home on Saturday. It will be so hard to leave him when we are just starting to build a relationship, but I hope that having his Baba share the scrapbook will help him to remember me until we can come back to bring him home. We will take him to get his visa pictures done tomorrow, so that will be an adventure!
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| Peek a Boo! |
Day 3 - Good Morning!
I finally got to visit with A.J. alone. What a difference that made in his behavior! I will post more about the visit later in the evening (mid-afternoon for all of you back home).
In the meantime here are some pics. Yes, I know they are all "soft". He figured out really quickly that he could see himself on the iPhone and from then on he tried to grab it everytime I took it out, so I had to move quick! For some reason I can't get the first two photos to rotate correctly even though they are the correct orientation in the file. Sorry! (Eric - if you know how to fix it, please log in and edit the post. Thanks!)
In the meantime here are some pics. Yes, I know they are all "soft". He figured out really quickly that he could see himself on the iPhone and from then on he tried to grab it everytime I took it out, so I had to move quick! For some reason I can't get the first two photos to rotate correctly even though they are the correct orientation in the file. Sorry! (Eric - if you know how to fix it, please log in and edit the post. Thanks!)
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| I wish I could have recorded his giggle for you. He has one of those giggles where you think the poor kid is going to fall over because they laugh so hard. :-) And I didn't realize how bad his haircut is until I saw these pictures. Poor kid! LOL |
Check back later for more!Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Day 2 - The Roller Coaster
If you are looking for a rosy, the process of adopting is all rainbows and puffy clouds type of post tonight you might want to stop reading now. J I think too many people make it seem like every single thing in their adoption process was perfect, that they immediately fell in love with their child, took them home without any reservations or second thoughts and they all lived happily ever after. I KNOW I am not the only one who has doubts, concerns and fears and I think that it should be OK to share that. But, as I said, if you don’t want to read that type of post then just go back to Facebook. J
Today has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I guess the reality of A.J.’s developmental delays is setting in and this is causing me to have a lot of questions and fears that are probably perfectly normal.
Things like: “Can I meet his needs once we are home when my life is already pretty crazy?” When I am thinking clearly the answer I hear in my head is “Yes. You will probably need to change your schedule around and maybe get a mother’s helper a few days a week to lighten the load of housework, but you can do it.” When the spirit of fear fills me the answer is more like “Absolutely not! Are you insane?”
And: “Am I ready to commit to parenting a child that may never be able to live independently and may never be ‘normal’ in the eyes of the world?” The non-emotional answer is “Many people have made the same commitment and received many, many blessings from it. It will strengthen our family in ways we can’t even imagine, and we will gain more than we give in this process.” The fearful side says “Think of everything you would have to give up! You are finally at a place where your house doesn’t need to baby proofed and your kids are independent enough to play on their own. Do you want to go back to having a child who completely relies on you again?”
Or: “Will he ever catch up developmentally? Or has the four years this orphanage has stolen from him changed his future forever?” The Godly, loving side of me replies “It doesn’t even matter. He is one of God’s children and he SO much deserves a chance at something much better than what he is destined for here. With consistent attention, therapy, and addressing his medical needs so that he is getting enough oxygen and not ill all the time, and making sure that his vision and hearing are OK he will thrive.” And the fear says “He’ll probably never catch up and you will be ‘stuck’ with a child who acts like a 2 year old when he is 18.”
God has used several things to try to set me straight today. The first one was this post from my bloggy friend Adeye. She is adopting two children who are in much worse places than our little man and her post really spoke to my heart. The second one was the song “Voice of Truth” by Casting Crowns. I had never really listened to this song the way I did today. I am going to try to include the song as part of the blog, but if I cannot figure out how to do it please take the time to listen to it on YouTube or iTunes. If you are a Christian it will bless your heart and make you understand how God is speaking to me through the music. If you are not a Christian it might help you to see how I feel like I am able to overcome huge obstacles because of my God. Or, it might just make you say “Those Christians are whacked in the head.” Either way, it is the honest truth about my life. And finally is Isaiah 40. This is one of my favorite chapters in the bible and one I turn to frequently. As I was reading verses 12-28 I could hear Him speaking to my heart saying “Do you really think that I, the one who measures the waters in his hands and brings forth the stars, am not big enough to overcome all of these problems you are seeing? I created the world. I do not become weary even when you do. I can handle this!” I am in tears right now thinking about it. One of the most amazing things about this journey has been how much closer it has made my relationship with my Creator.
I so much wish that my husband could have made this trip with me so that we could be working through these emotions together, face to face instead of chatting on Skype with an 8 hour time difference. We are in this together and I wish he could have first-hand experiences with A.J. instead of relying on my opinion and descriptions. And I could really, really use the emotional support that he consistently provides to me.
So, where does all this emotionalism leave us? Right where we started as far as I am concerned. Despite my concerns and fears I believe that God has led us on this journey and that he will continue to carry us through it, whatever it might bring. It boils down to this – I may not be able to give all of these children with sad, sad eyes a family; but I can give one a chance and there is NO WAY I am going to leave him here where his future is most likely life in a mental institution.
So, where does all this emotionalism leave us? Right where we started as far as I am concerned. Despite my concerns and fears I believe that God has led us on this journey and that he will continue to carry us through it, whatever it might bring. It boils down to this – I may not be able to give all of these children with sad, sad eyes a family; but I can give one a chance and there is NO WAY I am going to leave him here where his future is most likely life in a mental institution.
And now that I have gotten all of that down in words, I am going to bed. It has been an exhausting day. I pray that none of you will think less of me for sharing the deepest things of my heart here today.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Wow!
This has been an amazing day. Very emotional, very tiring, and very exciting all at once.
I don't really know where to start!
We left Sofia this morning to drive to the city that the orphanage is in (about an hour away). When we got to the city there were very few street signs and my driver couldn't find the orphanage. We stopped and asked close to 15 people and finally found one who knew where it was. When we got there the kids were all in a center courtyard playground area and one of the workers took us over to the window to show us A.J. He immediately started blowing kisses to us! My heart melted right then.
We met briefly with the director, who is a doctor and very sweet. She shared the medical information she had for A.J. and then asked me some questions about our family. I showed her the scrapbook I made to give to A.J. and she was amazed that we have cats living in the house with us, and that our kids do karate.
:-)
We finally got to go out into the play area with all of the kids and I mostly watched A.J. play. I tried to engage him a few times, but he quickly went on to another activity. He definitely seems to bounce from one thing to another pretty quickly. The staff at the orphanage obviously adore him and they have some sweet nicknames for him that I will share when I can tell you what his birth name is. I think we will end up using at least one of these pet names, since he responds well to them. They were very excited to hear that he was going to have a family and kept telling me "He just needs love!" The one down side to him being a favorite is that it seems like he doesn't have a lot of boundaries or rules. My interpreter said "I can't think of the word. What do you call it when they let him do whatever he wants?" I said "Spoiled?" and he replied "Yes! He is spoiled!" :-) I guess given the alternatives that he could have experienced being spoiled is not necessarily a bad thing, but we will definitely be working on setting some boundaries once we are home.
We left when the kids went in for lunch and returned at about 3:30pm. (Did you know that they use military time in Bulgaria? I felt right at home when they told us to come back at 1530!). We got to take A.J. into a therapy room in the back and play with him and his Baba. (Remember a few weeks back when I was so upset that our little guy didn't have a Baba? I shouldn't have worried because God had it covered.) Toward the end of the visit he was starting to bring me toys and let me hold him for a short time. He is NOT a cuddle bug, that much was obvious! We got to help him eat his snack of noodles with butter, cheese and egg. That kid can eat! He will fit in just fine at our house. ;-) He is independant in feeding himself and can drink from a regular cup with just a little help.
Some general impressions:
He is teeny tiny. I didn't get his measurements today, but I think he is probably about the size of an 18 month old.
We thought that his 4th birthday was April 24, but it turns out it is actually August 24. So guess who will get to spend his birthday with him!
His development is probably in line with a two year old. He says a handful of Bulgarian words that I can recognize after spending a few hours with him, and he does a very good job communicating in gestures like all pre-verbal kids do. He knows his body parts, and plays appropriately with toys (more or less). He can walk and run very well, but he still goes up the stairs using all four limbs. He is definitely developmentally delayed but I think with one on one attention and a family environment he will catch up pretty quickly.
They wouldn't let me take any pictures today, so I will have to wait and share those later. :-( I did post some pictures of the city on my facebook page, so go check those out in the meantime.
Keep the prayers coming! I have a feeling that leaving him on Friday is going to be very, very hard.
I don't really know where to start!
We left Sofia this morning to drive to the city that the orphanage is in (about an hour away). When we got to the city there were very few street signs and my driver couldn't find the orphanage. We stopped and asked close to 15 people and finally found one who knew where it was. When we got there the kids were all in a center courtyard playground area and one of the workers took us over to the window to show us A.J. He immediately started blowing kisses to us! My heart melted right then.
We met briefly with the director, who is a doctor and very sweet. She shared the medical information she had for A.J. and then asked me some questions about our family. I showed her the scrapbook I made to give to A.J. and she was amazed that we have cats living in the house with us, and that our kids do karate.
:-)
We finally got to go out into the play area with all of the kids and I mostly watched A.J. play. I tried to engage him a few times, but he quickly went on to another activity. He definitely seems to bounce from one thing to another pretty quickly. The staff at the orphanage obviously adore him and they have some sweet nicknames for him that I will share when I can tell you what his birth name is. I think we will end up using at least one of these pet names, since he responds well to them. They were very excited to hear that he was going to have a family and kept telling me "He just needs love!" The one down side to him being a favorite is that it seems like he doesn't have a lot of boundaries or rules. My interpreter said "I can't think of the word. What do you call it when they let him do whatever he wants?" I said "Spoiled?" and he replied "Yes! He is spoiled!" :-) I guess given the alternatives that he could have experienced being spoiled is not necessarily a bad thing, but we will definitely be working on setting some boundaries once we are home.
We left when the kids went in for lunch and returned at about 3:30pm. (Did you know that they use military time in Bulgaria? I felt right at home when they told us to come back at 1530!). We got to take A.J. into a therapy room in the back and play with him and his Baba. (Remember a few weeks back when I was so upset that our little guy didn't have a Baba? I shouldn't have worried because God had it covered.) Toward the end of the visit he was starting to bring me toys and let me hold him for a short time. He is NOT a cuddle bug, that much was obvious! We got to help him eat his snack of noodles with butter, cheese and egg. That kid can eat! He will fit in just fine at our house. ;-) He is independant in feeding himself and can drink from a regular cup with just a little help.
Some general impressions:
He is teeny tiny. I didn't get his measurements today, but I think he is probably about the size of an 18 month old.
We thought that his 4th birthday was April 24, but it turns out it is actually August 24. So guess who will get to spend his birthday with him!
His development is probably in line with a two year old. He says a handful of Bulgarian words that I can recognize after spending a few hours with him, and he does a very good job communicating in gestures like all pre-verbal kids do. He knows his body parts, and plays appropriately with toys (more or less). He can walk and run very well, but he still goes up the stairs using all four limbs. He is definitely developmentally delayed but I think with one on one attention and a family environment he will catch up pretty quickly.
They wouldn't let me take any pictures today, so I will have to wait and share those later. :-( I did post some pictures of the city on my facebook page, so go check those out in the meantime.
Keep the prayers coming! I have a feeling that leaving him on Friday is going to be very, very hard.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Yipeeee!
Yesterday morning I got the best e-mail I have gotten in a very long time. We finally got our official referral and travel dates!! I will be leaving Austin on August 18th and meeting A.J. for the first time on August 20th. I'll get to visit with him a few hours each day from Monday to Friday and then make the trip home on Saturday.
The reality that I will be travelling overseas in less than a week is starting to set in . Oh my. There is so much to do!
If you have travelled for an international adoption I would love to hear your suggestions for packing, and especially what to take along for your child on trip one. Thank you!
We should get an update from A.J.'s orphanage very soon. Our facilitator has the report, but it wouldn't be much use to us in Cyrillic so I guess we will have to wait for it to be translated. :-) I will let you know what we find out!
Prayer requests:
Where do I start? :-)
Safe travel - especially that I will not miss any connections.
Patience and energy for Eric as he tele-works and manages the household while I am gone.
That I will have the energy to get everything done that needs to be done in the next 6 days!
That I will recover from jet lag faster than I have in the past. Every time I travel internationally I am miserable (and so is everyone around me! LOL).
I'd better go get some lists made....
Thank you for walking alongside us on this journey!
The reality that I will be travelling overseas in less than a week is starting to set in . Oh my. There is so much to do!
If you have travelled for an international adoption I would love to hear your suggestions for packing, and especially what to take along for your child on trip one. Thank you!
We should get an update from A.J.'s orphanage very soon. Our facilitator has the report, but it wouldn't be much use to us in Cyrillic so I guess we will have to wait for it to be translated. :-) I will let you know what we find out!
Prayer requests:
Where do I start? :-)
Safe travel - especially that I will not miss any connections.
Patience and energy for Eric as he tele-works and manages the household while I am gone.
That I will have the energy to get everything done that needs to be done in the next 6 days!
That I will recover from jet lag faster than I have in the past. Every time I travel internationally I am miserable (and so is everyone around me! LOL).
I'd better go get some lists made....
Thank you for walking alongside us on this journey!
Friday, August 3, 2012
Prayer Request
All of the "Back to School" sales are making me very sad.
Back in the beginning of April when we submitted our dossier I excitedly looked at other people's blogs to see how long the process had taken for them so I could come up with a general timeline for us. I really, truly thought our first visit would be in late May or early June and we would be returning to pick A.J. up around September. I tentatively planned our summer around these dates, and gave some thought to how best to integrate A.J. into our school schedule once he was home.
Now it is "Back to School" time and we still haven't even gotten our written referral that will give us permission to make our first visit. Obviously trying to estimate time lines is not very helpful, but now we are hoping that we will be able to make our first trip sometime in September or early October. That means that he will not be coming home until about February 2013. :-(
When we started this process in December of 2010 I was very hopeful that he would be home for Christmas of 2011. When it became obvious that would not be possible, I began to pray that he might be able to be in our arms for his 4th birthday in April 2012. That didn't happen either. So then I said to myself "He will definitely be home for Christmas 2012!". But that was not to be. I keep telling myself to give up the time lines, but my heart is pleading with God that he will be able to spend his 5th birthday with his Momma, Daddy and siblings. He has already missed out on so much!
Then I realized that some families adopting from this country have had the opportunity to hire a Baba ("Granny") to spend one on one time with their child as they wait to bring them home. This gives a child living in an institutional environment an invaluable jump on development and attachment. We have not had the opportunity to do this for A.J. My heart has been breaking over this. I have been crying out to God, asking "Why can't we do something for him while he waits? Why am I stuck here unable to do anything to make life better for this little boy that I already love SO much?"
I am really, really, REALLY struggling with the waiting. Please pray that God will give me peace with the uncertainty and that (somehow, someway) A.J. will get what he needs to be healthy and happy while he continues to wait.
Back in the beginning of April when we submitted our dossier I excitedly looked at other people's blogs to see how long the process had taken for them so I could come up with a general timeline for us. I really, truly thought our first visit would be in late May or early June and we would be returning to pick A.J. up around September. I tentatively planned our summer around these dates, and gave some thought to how best to integrate A.J. into our school schedule once he was home.
Now it is "Back to School" time and we still haven't even gotten our written referral that will give us permission to make our first visit. Obviously trying to estimate time lines is not very helpful, but now we are hoping that we will be able to make our first trip sometime in September or early October. That means that he will not be coming home until about February 2013. :-(
When we started this process in December of 2010 I was very hopeful that he would be home for Christmas of 2011. When it became obvious that would not be possible, I began to pray that he might be able to be in our arms for his 4th birthday in April 2012. That didn't happen either. So then I said to myself "He will definitely be home for Christmas 2012!". But that was not to be. I keep telling myself to give up the time lines, but my heart is pleading with God that he will be able to spend his 5th birthday with his Momma, Daddy and siblings. He has already missed out on so much!
Then I realized that some families adopting from this country have had the opportunity to hire a Baba ("Granny") to spend one on one time with their child as they wait to bring them home. This gives a child living in an institutional environment an invaluable jump on development and attachment. We have not had the opportunity to do this for A.J. My heart has been breaking over this. I have been crying out to God, asking "Why can't we do something for him while he waits? Why am I stuck here unable to do anything to make life better for this little boy that I already love SO much?"
I am really, really, REALLY struggling with the waiting. Please pray that God will give me peace with the uncertainty and that (somehow, someway) A.J. will get what he needs to be healthy and happy while he continues to wait.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
No News
I know it has been forever since I posted here and I apologize. To be quite honest, I just could not bring myself to make a post saying... nothing.
We are still waiting for the one signature that is needed for us to get out first set of travel dates to meet A.J. It looks like we are not the only family in the same situation. Apparently none of the files have been processed in the last few weeks.
If you have asked me about our adoption over the last few weeks and I have let out a very heavy sigh before answering please forgive me! It s not that I resent the questions at all! It is just so very hard to not have anything to report. We know you all want to meet him almost as badly as we do!
Please pray for our family and every other family affected by this delay. The adoption process is stressful to begin with and not knowing when things will start moving again is difficult. In my heart I know it is all in His hands, but sometimes my humanness (is that a word?) sneaks up on me and I get pretty emotional. :-)
"I don't know what my future holds, but I do know Who holds my future." - Tim Tebow
We are still waiting for the one signature that is needed for us to get out first set of travel dates to meet A.J. It looks like we are not the only family in the same situation. Apparently none of the files have been processed in the last few weeks.
If you have asked me about our adoption over the last few weeks and I have let out a very heavy sigh before answering please forgive me! It s not that I resent the questions at all! It is just so very hard to not have anything to report. We know you all want to meet him almost as badly as we do!
Please pray for our family and every other family affected by this delay. The adoption process is stressful to begin with and not knowing when things will start moving again is difficult. In my heart I know it is all in His hands, but sometimes my humanness (is that a word?) sneaks up on me and I get pretty emotional. :-)
"I don't know what my future holds, but I do know Who holds my future." - Tim Tebow
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